Crazy Criminals by L. A. Keller

In researching crazy criminal behavior I was surprised to see an article which indicated that Alaska was the most dangerous state.  According to a January 26, 2018 article by Liz Thomas who quoted the FBI's Uniform Crime Report, there were 804 violent crimes per 100,000 citizens. Be that as it may, I still prefer to focus on dumb criminals of the non-violent kind.


May 25, 2018 New York Post article by Joshua Rhett Miller:

A robbery suspect who couldn’t wait to tally up his ill-gotten proceeds was arrested this week outside a bank in Alaska, moments after giving a teller a note with his real name and birthdate, authorities said.

Michael Gale Nash was taken into custody by police in Anchorage a “few minutes” after leaving First National Bank Alaska with $400 in a bag on Tuesday, the Anchorage Daily News reports. And cops didn’t have to look very far to collar their man, according to the FBI.

“It’s my understanding he was sitting outside the bank counting his money when police arrived,” Staci Feger-Pellessier, an FBI spokeswoman in Alaska, told the newspaper.

Minutes earlier, Nash entered the bank with a large backpack at about 4 p.m. Tuesday, according to charging documents filed Wednesday in US District Court in Anchorage.

“This is a hold up,” the note read. “Please put the money they want in the bag. God help us!!!”

The note was scribbled on the back of a form for affordable housing in the continental US that also had Nash’s personal information on it. No weapons were used during the alleged heist, Feger-Pellessier said.

“This is probably the quickest [apprehension] in recent history, at least locally for Anchorage,” she told the newspaper.

According to a KTVA TV news report on September 12, 2018, by Mary Simton:

Strangled over a Pop Tart -- a gas station manager is recovering after an assault that had to be broken up by a bystander Wednesday morning, authorities say.

Just before 11 a.m., police responded to a Holiday Gas Station located on the 4200 block of Mountain View Drive after reports of a man hitting the store manager, according to a statement from Anchorage police.

Police say 36-year-old Joel Schmidt walked into the store and put a Pop-Tart in his pocket. When the store manager confronted him, Schmidt head-butted him in the face and proceeded to strangle him.

"The two went to the ground and Schmidt put his hands around the manager’s neck which disabled the manager’s ability to breathe," police wrote. "During the altercation, the manager also saw Schmidt produce a folding knife and attempt to open it."

A bystander who witnessed the altercation intervened and helped the manager hold Schmidt to the ground until police arrived, police said.

The manager was okay.

And finally, reported by ktuu.com on September 1, 2018:

FAIRBANKS, Alaska (AP) - Two Alaska men were arrested after their court-ordered GPS ankle monitors placed them at the scene of a burglary.

The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner reports the men, both of North Pole, are each charged with felony second-degree burglary, three counts of felony second-degree theft and misdemeanor second-degree vehicle theft following their arrest Wednesday.

A criminal complaint says both men were out on bail for pending criminal cases at the time of the burglary and were wearing the ankle monitors as a condition of their release.

The owner of the North Pole shop called Alaska State Troopers on Monday to report someone broke into his shop and stole a $19,000 Can-Am side-by-side utility vehicle, two rifles, a compound bow, a satellite phone, several rifle scopes, a Stihl chainsaw and a Dell laptop.

And finally, one more from KTUU TV because I couldn't resist.  This was reported on May 29, 2018:

WASILLA, Alaska (KTUU) - One Valley resident with a stolen vehicle report got their car back, but it wasn't abandoned, authorities say. Instead, a man with an arrest warrant was found sleeping in the back.

The vehicle was first reported as stolen earlier this week from a home in Palmdale Drive in Wasilla. Like many stolen vehicles, it disappeared overnight. It was reported as missing on March 26, a gray GMC Denali Yukon.

According to the Alaska State Trooper report, it didn't take long before it was located. The following day, on March 27, the car was spotted at a residence off of Alvin's Alley.

Asleep in the back of the truck, troopers say, was Cody Killebrew, 28, of Wasilla. According to troopers, he had a warrant arrest for violating parole, dating back to a burglary and theft charge.

Killebrew was arrested for the warrant, and the vehicle was returned to its owner.

Criminals never cease to make me laugh with their stupidity.

Happy Trails,

Leslie

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