Crazy Criminals by L. A. Keller
I thought all that cold air and high attitude would make it hard to find crazy criminals in Colorado, but apparently the opposite is true. Here is a sampling to make you chuckle.
Newser Editors, posted September 27, 2018
The heist went exactly as planned: Overnight thieves drove a
stolen van right through the front doors of a marijuana shop in Colorado
Springs, grabbed as much pot as they could carry, abandoned the van, and fled
in a getaway vehicle, reports the Colorado Springs Gazette. The only hitch? All
the "marijuana" they grabbed was actually oregano, says the owners of
the Native Roots Dispensary. The still-at-large thieves, believed to be
teenagers, grabbed all the stuff in display cases, and those cases don't contain
the real thing, reports KKTV. Had the thieves made it into a locked "bud
room," the story would have been different.
Posted on https://www.onlyinyourstate.com/colorado/colorado-criminals/
A 68-year-old Denver man was arrested less than 5 hours
after robbing a bank. The man wore a shirt with his name on during the robbery
and then used his own car for the getaway.
A 27-year-old male under house arrest decided that not even
his court ordered anke bracelet could keep from burglarizing over a dozen
homes around Arapaho County. He was
originally arrested for only one of the crimes, but police were able to tie him
to the others because of that pesky GPS monitor.
A Colorado man was arrested after befriending the woman
whose house he'd robbed on Facebook. Not
a good idea when the homeowner actually saw your face.
A Fort Collins man was arrested after breaking in to a local
theater... .and leaving a folder full of
his court documents at the scene.
From The Denver Post
The armed, disguised man seemed to have everything he needed
to pull off a robbery at an Aurora e-cigarette store on Sunday — except
competence and nerve.
When the robber entered the store at 5:30 p.m. and pulled
out what appeared to be a long-barreled hand gun, he immediately fumbled it
across the counter. The gun fell to the feet of the store clerk, who picked it
up. As the suspect ran away, his pants fell to his knees.
“I don’t want to downplay the seriousness of an armed
robbery, but the guy really does belong in the ‘world’s dumbest criminals,'”
said Chris Burgess, owner of an E-Cig of Denver store located in Aurora. “He
needs to find a new career.”
Aurora police are now trying to identify the jittery robber
and arrest him, said Officer Kenneth Forrest, spokesman for the Aurora Police
Department.
Burgess said he just opened the Aurora store at 2222 S.
Havana St., his third e-cigarette store.
“It probably had only about $100 in the cash register,” he
said.
On Sunday, a man wearing a red ball cap, sunglasses and a
Denver Broncos sweat shirt repeatedly walked back and forth in front of the
store. Apparently it took several passes to confirm the female store clerk was
alone.
Surveillance cameras captured the bumbling robber’s
entrance. The man walked directly to the clerk’s counter, reached under his
sweatshirt and pulled out a gun, holding it upside down and gripping it with
his fingertips. The gun flew out of his fingers and onto the floor.
As the would-be robber climbed up onto the counter, the
clerk picked up the gun and held it like a club, Burgess said. The suspect
immediately turned and ran towards the door, his pants slipping from his waist.
When he kicked open the door, his pants dropped lower down to his knees as he
reached down to pick them up.
Happy Trails,
Leslie
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